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Do you like the idea of a friend, family member or other special person leading the ceremony at your wedding?

Wondering how this could work when your friend or family member is NOT an Authorised Marriage Celebrant?


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My legals only at your wedding’ service might be for you -  and it's easier and more flexible than you might think!


It's extremely special having a loved one perform the ceremony at your wedding, for many different reasons. I've been lucky enough to watch and be a part of lots of these ceremonies.


It's a big investment to become an Authorised Marriage Celebrant. There’s months of study, assignments, waiting, as well as a significant financial investment with no guarantee of registration. If your friend or family member wants to keep marrying people in the future, they could absolutely become an Authorised Marriage Celebrant themselves. But I'm going to strongly suggest it's not "worth it" for a once (even twice or three time) off.


An easy solution is to have an Authorised Marriage Celebrant at your wedding to take care of the "legal bits” and make sure everything is official. There are few ways this can work, but first it’s valuable to provide some context.


“Wedding Ceremony” v.s. a “Marriage Ceremony”


Before anyone gets confused, a wedding is the celebration of a marriage.


Your friend, family member or other acquaintance will be delivering a script as part of a 'ceremony' at your wedding, let’s call this event a “wedding ceremony”.


A wedding ceremony can include: a processional and recessional, a ‘giving away’, telling your personal love story, exchanging rings, saying “I do”, having a guest perform a reading, undertaking a ritual (like a ring warming), and a “first kiss”. But none of these things are legally required to get married, or a necessary part of a "marriage ceremony."


Only an Authorised Marriage Celebrant can perform a "marriage ceremony" to - as the name suggests - marry a couple.


A ‘Legals-Only’ marriage ceremony is a non-official term to describe when an Authorised Celebrant performs only the legally required elements of a marriage ceremony.


For reference, here are the required elements of a marriage ceremony (on the day):


  • Prior (as close as possible) to the ceremony taking place, each of the parties to the marriage meets with the Authorised Marriage Celebrant performing the ceremony, to sign the ‘Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage’ or ‘DONLIM’.

  • An Authorised Marriage Celebrant, the couple and two witnesses all need to be in the same place.

  • The Celebrant will say the ‘Monitum’ (which is a paragraph of words a celebrant must recite).

  •  The couple will each deliver their legal marriage vows (one, long sentence).

  • The Monitum and the vows must be heard by the couple, celebrant and the two witnesses.

  • All five people will then sign the required paperwork.


Each of these steps are completed in a matter of minutes.


On your marriage certificates, the DATE and LOCATION of your marriage ceremony is recorded. This information must be accurate and is unable to be forged or altered.


However, the time of the ceremony is not recorded.


Why have I spent this time spelling this out? Because it provides for context for the different ways your legals-only marriage ceremony can take place at your wedding.


Options for a Legals-Only Marriage Ceremony at your wedding, where a friend or family member is leading the ceremony


Below is a summary of the different ways you can incorporate a legals-only marriage ceremony into your wedding celebrations.


This includes circumstances where you have a friend of family member leading your wedding ceremony, or, perhaps you want to skip a formal ceremony alltogether and go straight to the party.


It is important to note that your friend or family member should not deceive or mislead guests into believing they are an Authorised Marriage Celebrant, or other official position with authority to solemnise marriages. In Australia it is illegal to “purport to solemnise a marriage” under section 101 of the Marriage Act 1961 (Cth). It is important that your friend or family member makes it clear that an Authorised Marriage Celebrant is in attendance, or, the legal-parts of the marriage ceremony have already OR will take place with an Authorised Marriage Celebrant. Similarly, they cannot print out ‘fake’ certificates to sign, or say the Monitum. Your celebrant can provide further guidance on this.


I provide all my couples with a fact sheet on exactly how the different options below can work. The following information is a summary and not an exhaustive list:


Option One: On a different day

  • Your legals-only marriage ceremony can take place on a different day to your wedding celebration.

  • This is ideal for destination weddings; if you need to get married sooner; if you would prefer a totally private setting; or if you don’t want the extra fuss on your wedding day.


Option Two: On the same day, before or after your wedding ceremony

  • Examples might include: in the morning; before your guests arrive; during canapés hour; or immediately before/after the wedding ceremony.

  • The legals-only marriage ceremony can take place at the same location/venue/address as your wedding celebration, which means the details on your marriage certificate will match your wedding.


Option 3: At the signing table, during your wedding ceremony

  • This is the most common option selected by my couples.

  • An Authorised Marriage Celebrant is present during the wedding ceremony that is

  • being delivered by someone else.

  • The legals-only marriage ceremony takes place during the ‘signing’ section of the wedding ceremony.

  • The witnesses join the couple and celebrant at the signing table (at whatever stage this takes place during the wedding ceremony).

  • Even though time is not recorded on a marriage certificate, this option means you will be getting married during your wedding ceremony. You may like to consider whether this is important to you.


Option 4: Authorised Marriage Celebrant participates throughout the wedding ceremony

  • The best way to describe this option, is that the Celebrant jumps on the microphone too.

  • The Authorised Celebrant might introduce themselves and say the Monitum in front of all the guests. You may also like the Authorised Celebrant to facilitate your vows, or ring ceremony. What this looks like can be workshopped.


What if we need a PA and Microphone?


For a small additional fee, I offer this equipment for hire. I can even help you with your ceremony music. However, the use of my PA is only for the duration of the ceremony (it comes and leaves with me).


If you require a PA and/or Microphone for the rest of your celebration, I recommend asking your venue, your musician/band/DJ, or, I can recommend an audio gear hire business based in Newcastle.


How do we make it happen with Becky Married Me?


If you want a friend or family member to deliver your wedding ceremony and you are getting married in Newcastle, the Hunter Valley, Port Stephens, the Central Coast or surrounds, use the contact form on my website to get in touch.


I offer an easy, efficient, relaxed and reliable Legals-Only marriage service.


You can also check out my instagram or facebook to see some real-life examples


P.S. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!


Blog Post Cover Photo Credit: Wolf & Wildflower Photography



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